wish- verb. to feel or express a strong desire or hope for something that is not easily attainable; to want something that cannot or probably will not happen.
Why are we taught as children to make a wish when we blow out the candles on a birthday cake? It seems particularly cruel. To be made to believe that, for some odd reason, when we close our eyes and purse lips at our fiery pastries, extinguishing the flames that represent each year of our time on earth with the living breath of our bodies, that some sort of magic happens. That in that momentary darkness, that dimming of illumination, something that cannot be, will be.
It's False Hope. Back on it's bullshit. I'll take Despair over that peculiar abyss any day of the week.
Today is my birthday. I'll make a cake but I don't have any candles. I don't have any wishes, either, so that's okay. Not that there isn't anything I long for. There certainly is. But no wishes. What I desire most may not be easily attainable but it is something that can happen, probably even will happen, at that.
I want to be free.
I want to find home.
I want to receive all the love I can and give it back to the world, like the moon gives back the sun's light, with my face made of scars and the stars all around me, shine shine shining.
Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday, dear Holly, happy birthday to me.
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