Thursday, December 9, 2010

More Than A Year

More than a year since I've written here. Feels longer. Feels odd to be back. Am I back? I don't really know. Why am I here? Because I can't sleep. Because my mind, it troubles me. Good ol' blogger. Comforts me. I guess.

Times is tough. Times is hard. I've been through worse, though, so I have. So have we all.

I want to say... (what do I want to say?)... that I love this life. Shocking, to me. Yet it's true. I do love this life, and the friends I've made. Wouldn't trade them for the world. And the experiences I've had- yes, they've made me who I am.

And I'm ok. Really. I'm ok. Not an angel but not a monster, either. No matter what anyone may think. I'm a good person.

We're going to have a better year in 2011. All of us, a better year. Abundant lives. Purpose and destiny (and dare I say it? maybe even God?) will lead us where we need to be. I believe that now.

To all my blogger friends, I love you. We may be lost, but we're not forgotten. And when there's someone there to remember us, we can always find our way home.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Attention White People!

If you are a white person who has an entirely black child or a half-black child, learn how to fix their damn hair!!!

I've been meaning to bitch about this for awhile now. This issue has always bothered me, but Matthew goes to school with some kids whose hair is suffering! Suffering, I say!! It's ridiculous. There is a woman here in town, I don't know her name but Kevin knows her. She went to Africa several years ago and came back with an African husband. They promptly adopted a bunch of kids from Africa and had one of their own as well.

Anyway, I don't care that her husband is African (he is a bicycle cop, though, which is weird) or that they adopted kids from Africa (personally, I think their are plenty of kids here in America that need adopting, too, but whatever, it's their life). I don't care that they're a bi-racial couple and family, all of that's dandy, just dandy.

But you should see these children's hair. It's horrible. The boys aren't as bad, because it's kept short, but you can tell that somebody who doesn't know how to cut a black person's hair buzzed these boys. The girl's hair is the worst. It's broken and dry and flying around all over the place. It just looks awful. Why? Why is it this way? Because they have a white mom who doesn't know shit about their hair.

If I were a parent of a black child, I would learn how to care for their hair properly. If I didn't learn how to take care of their hair then how the hell are they expected to learn? I feel this woman is doing her children a bad turn, and I feel a little sorry for them. I'm sure she's a great mom (maybe), and I'm sure they're great kids (maybe) but for Christ's sake, do something about that damn hair!

You all know what I'm talking about, right? You've seen it too, right? The white lady with the little black kid with the crazy afro or the white lady with the little black kid who you can tell they tried to straighten her hair and it just looks like crazy hay straw sticking out of an ugly headband? You've seen them, right? Right?

Please tell me it's not just me!

I'm sure it's me.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Quick Update

Things are going pretty good. Kevin's crew is almost done building their first log home. He's done well considering he's not a carpenter, and he's terrified of heights. That particular job is two hours south of here, so he's also been gone most of the summer. This will be his first week back home every night. He was camping Down By the River, and for fun he would stack rocks, of which we have some pictures of here. The stack in the first two pictures is about six feet tall.

Ivy's cuter than ever. Her hair is long enough on top to do a little ponytail. Squeeee!!! Right now she's loving books and identifying things in the pictures.

Matthew is doing Tiger Cub Scouts, and having a blast. He's also been to three birthday parties since school started a month ago. That's exciting for him since he didn't get invited anywhere last year.
And I'm ok, too.
Love y'all.

Monday, August 3, 2009

The Dead Copperhead Head

This is so gross.

So, it's Sunday morning, right? And I'm sitting at the computer, clicking away at the keyboard because I've dreamed the night before about my Evil Aunt Sherry and now I'm convinced she's dead and I'm searching for an obituary online. While I'm doing this, I am also enjoying the soothing sounds of Kevin taking care of long overdue yard work. It's a beautiful day so far.

And then I hear Kevin calling to me, oh-so blithely from outside, "Holly? Sweetie? Could you bring me the loppers, please?"

I go out there and he's standing by some tallish grass pinning something against the house with this little rake/hoe type thingy. It's a copperhead. Oh yeah. An effing copperhead.

So I take him the loppers and he makes me hold the rake/hoe thingy so he can cut off it's head. And cut off its head, he did.

Again, I say gross!!!

A little while later and the excitement has died down. I'm back at the computer and I hear Kevin calling to me again, "Holly! Come see this! It's still moving!" I run outside and we're standing there watching the dead copperhead head open it's mouth and writhe around. Yep, that's excitement 'round these parts. Then it occurs to me to get my camera and try to get some video.

Now, this is not good footage. I missed most of the good stuff. My hands were shaky but you can see the mouth opening and closing and it's tongue moving around. You will see Kevin poking it with the rake/hoe thingy. You will also hear my creepy, heavy breathing and my annoying cat meowing in the background. Finally, you will hear me bitching, which I think is quite funny.

I tried all day to get this stinking video uploaded on Blogger with no success. So, please follow this link over to Youtube if you're weird like me and like to watch dead snake heads do sort of freaky shit.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Catching Up On Pictures

This is Matthew on his graduation day. He was really excited about wearing his clip on tie.

This is him being presented with the "Most Friendly" certificate by his teacher, Mrs. Elsey.

Matthew and Mrs. Elsey. She's really a great teacher and this was her first year! She said she decided to go back to college and become a teacher because of the problems her own son had had in school. I'm so happy she did, too, because this was a hard first school year for me and she really helped both Matthew and I out, a lot.
Ivy's first birthday was May 2. Not a great big party, but hey, she's one! She was a doll, though, and loved opening her presents and played with every one of them. Interesting to note that the woman holding her in most of the pictures is Kevin's mom and Ivy actually let her hold her. Usually she just cries whenever Ann's around, ha ha ha ha. That's because she's only seen her a handful of times, but notice how if you weren't there and just had the pictures to go by, it would seem as if Ann is well loved by everyone and a big part of our family. Not true! (in my mind, anyway)

Then just some random pics.

Love you all!

Friday, May 15, 2009

I Am So Very, VERY Wrong

I am having bad thoughts. Thinking naughty things. Selfish things. Completely morally corrupt things.

Maybe not completely morally corrupt, but close enough.

I am thinking of doing something I've never done before. Something so bad, it makes me cringe inside. Just thinking about it makes me feel incredibly guilty and hypocritical. But then I think, fuck it! I'm going to do it anyway!

I could be building this up in my head to be a bigger thing than what it really is. I have bigger thing building issues. Maybe it's not that bad at all.

Maybe it's completely innocent!

And I'm completely innocent! Everything I say and do comes from love and smells like roses!

So what if I happen to introduce two people at a little get-together, hoping they might hit it off?

So what if one of them happens to be my very bestest friend in the whole wide world who moved away to Texas a year and a half ago leaving me alone and bereft in the world and if she met Kevin's hot friend with the big penis might move back to Arkansas while her current man with the small penis who doesn't appreciate her stays behind in Texas and we could all be one big happy family up here frolicking through the woods singing songs and holding hands?

Is that so wrong?

I shouldn't look at it as though I'm breaking up one relationship, but rather helping another.

My own. Because if I don't get some friends in my life, and soon, I'm going to have to kill Kevin and then where will our relationship be? Hmmm? See my point? Murdering your spouse doesn't usually bode well for the future of your marriage, now does it?

But if my wonderful, awesome, sweet and funny friend met someone and moved back here and she was happy, and Kevin's friend was happy, then I'd be happy, and thus Kevin would be happy because he doesn't get annihilated.

Sounds good right?

The only person not happy in that scenario is my friend's current short-dick man, but really, I mean REALLY, how long is a woman supposed to go on in life putting aside her own happiness in order to stay loyal to a man who puts forth no effort into their relationship? Doesn't even try.

I feel bad for the guy, but come on already! By my figuring, if things turned out like I hope, then instead of having one person who doesn't deserve the happiness he has because he doesn't appreciate it, we have FOUR!, yes that's right, FOUR! people who deserve happiness because they appreciate it and don't take friends and family for granted!

Yes, it's a wrong thing to do, and is so right. (for me, ha ha)


Monday, April 27, 2009


So this morning I was outside smoking a cigarette (yes, I'm still a dirty smoker. I don't want to be but that's the state of the union right now) and I sort of spaced off, as I usually do.

I thought about how nice it would be if, sometime this spring or summer, the man and the kids and I went downtown in Eureka and did some shopping and sightseeing.

And wouldn't it be nice if I ran into my very favorite actor (who after all of these years still holds the number one position on my Celebrity Fuck List), Josh Holloway, who just so happened to be in town vacationing as he's on hiatus from filming LOST?

Oh, yes...that would be nice.

I would tell him how much I love him- I mean, how much I love his work. My heart would pound and my cheeks would flush. Kevin would embarrass me by saying something stupid and Josh would feel this overall sense of uneasiness whilst trying to remain polite.

Yes...very nice.

And then later on that day, maybe I'd ditch Kevin and the kids (maybe?) and hit a bar and run into Josh again. Maybe slip a little something into his drink to loosen him up. Or, knock him out, whichever comes first.

Then maybe I would drag him to my car and start heading to a local hotel where I've already booked a room under an assumed name.

Don't worry. I'd be nice to him. Make sure he was returned clean AND without a clear memory of what transpired the day before.

It's good to have dreams. Things to aspire to.